Welcome to the Clwb Hoci Eirias Weekly Match Report.

Brooklands Poynton Women’s&nbsp;2&nbsp;&nbsp;( 0 v 3 )&nbsp;&nbsp;
Clwb Hoci Eirias Women’s 1

Following the Conwy Sports Awards the evening before, it was
always going to be a challenging weekend for the squad. After a long night and
plenty of celebrations, the team showed real character by turning up with the
right attitude and strong team spirit, despite a large squad and tired legs.



The first half saw us looking a little flat as we worked off the effects of the
night before. We struggled to hit our usual standards early on, while the
opposition played with good energy. Defensively, we stayed organised and
resilient, and the half ended 0–0 with plenty still left to give.



The second half started with renewed focus and intensity. The breakthrough came
when Rachel Faragher reacted quickly to a loose rebound from the goalkeeper to
put us 1–0 up, lifting the whole team’s energy. Soon after, some excellent work
through midfield and attack saw the ball worked into the top of the D, where
Daisy Edwards fired a brilliant first-time strike into the bottom left corner
to make it 2–0.

We continued to control the game, and a third goal followed after a neat pass
into the D, with Ali Gostage-Naylor producing a composed flick into the back of
the net to secure a well-earned 3–0 victory.



Player of the Match was awarded to Martha Hughes for her outstanding
determination and calm, composed play in defence throughout the game.

Turkey - Rachel Faragher enough said… the trophy will soon take pride of place
in the clubhouse cabinet… allegedly still being built according to Luke! A very
close second went to Lily Copeland, who turned up match-ready… apart from her
shoes, arriving in UGGs and requiring a very sporting loan of trainers from the
opposition – thanks in no small part to some sideline negotiations from Marcus
Copeland!

Goals : Rach Faragher, Daisy Edwards and Ali Gostage-Naylor

A great team effort to round off a tough but memorable
weekend, topped off with more brilliant team teas and homemade pizza for the
second time in the weekend.

Clwb Hoci Eirias Women’s 2&nbsp;&nbsp;( 2 v 1 )&nbsp;Mossley
Hill Women’s 1

The morning of the Saturday dawned bright and for the ladies
as we prepared to face another team at home. Only described in last years notes
as “really good keeper” we had no real idea what we up against but were feeling
confident never the less.



The match started and us blue beauties were honestly all over them, I mean we
must have had at least 20-25 shots in the first half alone. But with all that
pressure at the front, our defence were neglected from the game and shocked
when they came back from another opportunity to spring a counter-attack right
down our centre line and into our D. One unfortunate foot at top D later and a
lucky just snuck past us all into the back of the net..... Somehow it was
suddenly 1-0 to them???



We hung in there until half time where we all had a little sit down and
generally agreed that the notes were right and that keeper was insanely good
along with a little bit on how to deal with her tactics.

Well obviously, this talk was taken to heart by the team and especially Anna
and Catrin in the attack who pretty much immediately slotted the ball past the
keeper in quick and then scored a lovely rebound off her pads. It was up 2-1 to
Eirias Ladies!!

Now all we did was hold them back and keep attempting to move their keeper to
little avail.

Doesn't matter girls it was a win eventually!


Clwb Hoci Eirias Men’s 1&nbsp;( 2 v 1 )&nbsp;&nbsp;
Brooklands MU Men’s 3

With the sun shining on a glorious Saturday at the Jungle and Jacob retuning
from his night on a futon and wearing his nan’s clogs, top of the table paid us
a visit.


Another inspirational pre match team talk from Ken’s kitchen forgotten son
Echan, he decided it was necessary to change sides after consulting with Cian,
the solar physicist. Before the game &nbsp;kicked off cries for a satin ball
were heard from the opposition, the upper class snobbiness shining through. (
&nbsp;Kookaburra Saturn Hockey Ball | ONE Sports Warehouse) link provided for
future purchases. A satin ball arrived and the game started. 

Some good early
possession from the ultras controlling the game making Brokeland quake in their
boots.

A few early short corners won by the Ultras, with Brokeland adopting the
traditional football manager cry ‘time wasting’ tactic on all penalty corners.
Questions were asked to Archbishop Anthony who looked confused or lost as it
wasn’t the sabbath day. One Brokeland player attempting to recreate his
favourite character from the Goonies, Sloth tried to rational their time
wasting. A few wasted short corners came and went and on the 30th minute up
stepped our favourite Italian twin Luigi Sanford. &nbsp;

The half time whistle
came and a very positive half for The Ultras. &nbsp;

A good solid team talk by Pye praising all good work led to Brokeland’s scoring
2 minutes after half time. With the satin ball being pinged around looking like
prime Pep’s Barcelona 09/10 the Ultras had a grip on the game. Then arrived
Cian’s lover, number 11. In all my years of hockey, this was the first time I
have ever thought that love might be made on the field. If anyone wanted to
take Cian out for a drink , now was his time. Moving swiftly on, &nbsp;Jacob
Futon Molloy stepped up and somehow scored from another time wasting short
corner.

Then the Brett Madden academy of tackling decided to join the party. Firstly,
Dylan Madden decided he must follow in his Dad’s footsteps and get himself a
yellow. 

The next series of events is clear - clearly Pye has had 1-1 tackling
tuition from Brett. Brokeland’s player decided to size up for an aerial, Pye
jumped thinking an aerial was coming. Then only to be described by bystanders
as an RKO out of no the Brokeland’s player seem to fall over and claim it was a
bad challenge, &nbsp;a perfectly good challenge if you ask Brett. One cry from
the Brokeland bench ‘are you happy now’ another cry ‘you could have killed
him’. &nbsp;The Brett Madden academy of tackling both sat down on the blue
chair looking like they were waiting for a bus.



A solid 2-1 win at the Jungle. Special mentions to Brokeland’s no 6 who had
been practising his gymnastics routine for his triple roll in the dee. Yoshi
and Luigi holding fort in the Ultra’s defence with prime Ederson getting lost
coming out the dee.


DOD- Brett Madden Academy of tackling graduate 2014, Pye

Goal Scorers: Jacob Molloy and Lewis Sanford

Clwb Hoci Eirias Men’s 2 &nbsp;&nbsp;( 2 v 1 )&nbsp;Liverpool
Sefton Men’s 2

Eirias Men’s 2 beat the top of the league.

Liverpool Sefton Men’s 2 had not lost a game until this
match.

Clwb Hoci Eirias Men’s 3 &nbsp;( 1 v 3 )&nbsp;Bebington
Men’s 2

Eirias Men’s 3s began the game brightly, applying early
pressure and moving the ball confidently through midfield. Despite creating
several promising opportunities, they were unable to convert their strong start
into a goal. Bebington, however, were far more clinical in front of goal,
capitalising on their chances to score three times before the break.

Dom and Will worked tirelessly in the centre of the pitch,
helping Eirias maintain possession and drive attacks forward. Up front, Finn
and Ryan put in huge shifts, constantly pressing the Bebington defence and
stretching play. Newcomers Martyn and Harry made impressive debuts, settling in
quickly and contributing strongly in both phases of the game.

At half time, Mike and Jeff delivered a focused team talk,
encouraging the side to keep their composure and play to their strengths. The
response was immediate—Eirias came out rejuvenated, controlling large spells of
the second half. Their persistence paid off when Ryan found the back of the net
with a well-taken goal.

Despite dominating long periods and creating enough chances
to take the win, Eirias couldn’t close the gap and the match finished with
Bebington ahead. A frustrating result, but a performance full of effort,
quality, and promising signs for the games ahead. This was a match Eirias will
feel they should have won, but one that offers plenty to build on.

Neston Men’s 6&nbsp;( 2 v 0 )&nbsp;Clwb Hoci Eirias
Men’s Development

Progress, resilience, and a glimpse of what’s to come. That
was the story as our Development Boys faced second-placed Neston 6 in a fixture
that tested every ounce of their growing confidence.

Neston arrived with a seasoned, powerful lineup, (just one
youth player in their ranks) yet our boys embraced the challenge with energy
and determination. This wasn’t just a game; it was another step forward in
their remarkable journey of growth.

With Sunday’s U16 tournament in mind, we welcomed Xabi and
Gethin into midfield, prioritising meaningful minutes for the U16 group. That
decision didn’t slow the learning curve, it sharpened it. From the opening
whistle, we matched Neston stride for stride, ball for ball, chance for chance.

There were standout performances across the pitch, starting
with Rob who was immense in goal, providing a calm, commanding presence that
allowed us to build confidently from the back. In midfield, Jacob, Osian, Owen,
Gethin, Xabi, and Morgan controlled the tempo, rotating smartly to keep legs
fresh and connections strong, an investment that will pay dividends in the
tournament.

At the back, our defence stood tall. Ashton, Harrison, and
Xander were outstanding, repeatedly breaking up attacks and covering for the
"experienced" (not elder) trio of Glenn, Mark, and Mike when needed.
Their composure kept us firmly in the contest.

The deadlock was broken on 25 minutes when Neston’s towering
midfielder found a fraction of space at the top of the D and unleashed a strike
that flew into the net. Until then, we had looked the stronger side, carving
chances with penetrating wing runs and crisp passing that unsettled their
defence. Their keeper was called into action several times, a thunderous
tomahawk from Freddie the pick of the bunch, reminding everyone that a goal was
within reach.

Fifteen minutes into the second half, a ricochet in the D
fell kindly for Neston’s earlier scorer. Rob charged out bravely, clearing ball
and player, but the umpire pointed to the spot. Suddenly, we were 2–0 down.

Heads didn’t drop. The boys pushed harder, forcing more
saves and showing real attacking intent. The final touch just wouldn’t fall our
way, but the performance spoke volumes.

When asked after the match how we’d done, the instinctive
reply was: “We drew 2–0.” That says everything about how the scoreline failed
to reflect the game. We created more chances than in the rest of the season
combined. Teamwork, confidence, and resilience were outstanding, and the sense
of growth is unmistakable.

As we head into our final match before Christmas, belief is
sky-high that our first win is within reach—especially with a home crowd behind
us.

And who knows… will we be stepping out in the new kit next
weekend?

Match Reports 22nd November 2025

Clwb Hoci Eirias Women’s 1&nbsp;&nbsp;( 1 v 2 )&nbsp;Browdon
Women’s 3

After last weekends success, the ladies 1s faced top of the
league Bowdon 3s which was another huge test.


The first half we held them well until we got caught out on the break where
they got a goal off of Martha’s foot in the D which put us 1 goal down. We
didn’t let our heads drop though with great runs up the line from charlotte and
great passes from daisy and Nel. We had a great defence within short corners
with nel, Lauren, Kira, Martha, daisy and effi putting a great shift in but
unluckily a straight shot from the top saw Erias Ladies 1s going 2-0 down.


Half time finally came and we were able to recompose and reunite with Tams
beloved whiteboard. The ladies 1s still had belief they could pull it back and
get some points in the bag.


In the second half it was tense and we saw a lot of stick tackles which after a
long time coming, saw effi sent off the pitch with a green card. The back line
carried on getting battered with short corners which were defended brilliantly
and we were even able to make a great counter attack with Libby scoring at the
other end. Although these short corners also meant Kira decided it was a good
idea to get cheeky with the umpire which saw her receive a warning for arguing.
Ella, Fflur, Sophie and Ali were running rings in our midfield creating space
everywhere they went and our forwards Steph, Rach and libs carried on pushing
the Bowdon defence and keeper but sadly there was no luck to be had. Rach also
picked up a late yellow card which saw her on the bench for 5 minutes.


In the end it finished 2-1 to Bowdon 3s with a great shift put in from both
teams. Thank you to everyone on the sidelines for turning out and supporting
especially our very own Lilo and Lily.


POTM: Ali- for her great positioning and super passes.
Turkey: Kira- for trying to get herself a card but not quite managing it (not
deserved at all)

Clwb Hoci Eirias Women’s 3&nbsp;( 0 v 0 )&nbsp;Chester
Women’s 4


Act1: Prelude.
A soggy Rydal was the venue for our young dev team this weekend against Chester
4.
On paper there was nothing between the teams, who have almost identical records
against the same opposition. The opposition did not seem to get the memo about
kit
colours though, as they arrived (fairly late) wearing blue shirts. This did not
impress our umpires, and Chester begrudgingly accepted the offer of neon yellow
bibs that I found &nbsp;in a pile in the sports hall. Then, somewhat
farcically, their goalkeeper donned a blue jersey. Stern words were exchanged
as they were instructed to find an alternative top before game start.



Act 2: First Half.
From pushback it was clear that this was going to be a close game. Chester was
able to &nbsp;find time and space to bring the ball forward, only to be met
with stern resistance from our defenders Jess, Ella, Lacey, Violet, and Holly.
This allowed us to hit back on the break with pace through Eryn, Lexi, Niamh,
and Grace. After 10 minutes of sparring, good work in the opposition D from
Georgie, Annie, and Tilly saw us get a chain of penalty corners. Despite the
best efforts of a range of shooters, these were either blocked, saved, or
cleared. Growing in confidence, Eirias started to dominate
possession and territory, but couldn't turn this into a goal. Chester started
to become a threat on the break thanks to a skilled midfielder who was able to
find time to move the ball, leading to Caitlin being called into action to make
a double save one on one, and also to react quickly to a deflected shot hitting
the post. A few ambitious shots from a tight angle were never going to beat her
though. Half time, and a useful debrief from firsts captain Steph and visiting
Emily. The message was to give the skilled Chestermidfielder less time and
space.

Interlude: Haribo was consumed.



Act 3: Second Half.
The first half was free flowing and open. The second half wasn’t. Giving
Chester less
time and space on the ball turned things rough and scrappy. Chances for both
teams were few and far between, with plenty of tackles going in. The opposition
were clearly getting frustrated, and a little verbals started. Things came to a
head in two stages.
First, Ella, in making a legitimate play for the ball led to a Chester player
ending up with a nasty arm injury. Secondly, the Chester coach was warned for
giving unwanted opinions. My nerves weren't taking it well, so I can only
imagine what you lot were going through... then, suddenly, potential disaster.
In closing down a Chester break into the D, Jess used a little too much force.
The attacker hit the deck, and a penalty stroke was awarded, much to the joy of
the Chester coach. After the situation was explained to the opposition, they
eventually chose a shooter, who stepped up confidently, expecting to win the
game. She clearly underestimated our tiny goalie though, who was able to flick
her leg out and turn away the low stroke, much to the joy of the Eirias
players. With only minutes to go, space began to appear all over the field as
players tired, leading to a few last desperate pushes from the Eirias girls –
but clean shots were not presenting themselves. The final whistle went, and the
game ended a nil-nil draw. A fair result, hard earned. Far more exciting and
dramatic than the score suggests.



Cone of shame: Jess, for conceding the penalty stroke.


POTM: Caitlin, for saving the penalty stroke.

Epilogue: I hope nobody got salmonella..

Clwb Hoci Eirias Men’s 1&nbsp;( 4 v 2 )&nbsp;&nbsp;Preston
Men’s 2

Hello gentlemen and pink canoes, I’m going to tell you a little story about how
a group of 13 they/them/he/she’s travelled down to the great wonders of north
Wales and were met by an almighty force know as, The Ultras.

This group of players known collectively as Depreston, tried to keep optimistic
heading towards the battlefield. Coming prepared by bring sticks and wearing
padded protection, attempting to meet this force head on. But quite frankly,
they knew their fate was sealed. And were handed a cheeky fish and chips
because A BATTERING AT THE JUNGLE was the only thing on this menu.

Anyway, enough about the opposition. It’s a glorious day and the vibes were
good. Eirias felt a win was needed after having a few unfortunate weeks, in
hope of bringing a good old boost of moral. Miles having picked up an injury
decided to play a role where he thrives, as “MaNAgEr”. He got the boys going
with a great warm up which showed going into the first 15 minutes of the game
where we dominated, looked sharp and got ourselves an early goal from our very
own dirty sl*pper ‘can you hear me willz’&nbsp;

. This planned, well
drilled short corner routine of top D slapped to outside left post and a
deflection into top bins was something we felt confident in and felt we knew
would work.

Fortunately for us. our Ash can’t make a pass to save his life and Ash slotted
a pass into the bottom left. Bosh 1-0


We shortly followed up with another master class short corner routine with an
ulmighty dragy, scoopy, pushy, flicky, slappy thing from Draco Malfloy who took
full advantage of an open left post. Bosh 2-0.

Deprestons gobby striker actually scored a blinder of a goal. Good stop, good
turn and smashed it home. Credit where credit is due. Nevertheless, 2-1

Our Yorkshireman JD was on top form on the pitch and had Depreston chasing
nothing but the his back end. How the turns table, weaving in and out of players
and dare I say it, using 3D skills to take on players and he got himself a
blinder of a deflection from our El Captaino Tbone. 3-1 up.

Lots more happened. Depreston kept getting cards. Their striker scored another
belter but couldn’t help himself getting sent off for constantly moaning to the
umpires. Poor little fellow. Jen was great but got harassed by their “ManAgEr”
after the game.


Our forwards had around 100,000 chances on goal. Bruno did not score again.
Probably no need to mention that as everyone knew prior to the game the fool
wouldn’t bag one anyway.


Cal scored an average goal and only just. He nearly missed an open goal. 4-2
lol.

Lewis Sanford was unreal all game. Kept Owen Fielding out the mire and pretty
much held the defensive line together. Some say there’s talks of him being
knighted from the king. Not only for being such a great, handsome bloke but
also a fantastic hockey player. He selflessly took one for the team and wore
the frog outfit to save Ci diddy from wearing it two weeks on the bounce.
Legend, hero ahh just a really nice guy. Big up papa Sanfrodo&nbsp;



Special mentions:
Bryn and his goal tally 0.
Cian and his continuousness bromance with the side line.
“maNaGeR MiLeS” sorting out things&nbsp;


Beavo getting the boys discounted subscription..
Big Boy machine moving more than normal.
Ethan akechan, Andy 3.14, Terrylee Boylee and Yorky rips setting a solid
midfield.
And Ioan proving why he should have a spot in the 1st team.

DOTD “Lewis legend Sanford”&nbsp;


MOTM: JD
Goals: Willz, Malloy, JD, Noakes
Cards 0
Assist, Tez x2, Lewis, Bryn

Birkenhead Men’s 2&nbsp;( 2 v 1 )&nbsp;Clwb Hoci
Eirias Men’s 2

After arriving at a revised pitch location with one
additional player due to the cancellation of the L2s Eirias 2s had a productive
warm up.
They started the match playing the same level of interplay hockey seen in last
weekends back to back wins putting the opposition on the back foot.


Scrappy play in front of the Birkenhead goal saw the ball pop up in front of
Max who pushed it into the bottom corner opening the scoring against the second
place in the league.


Unfortunately the quality of play dropped and became unconnected and saw
unforced errors across the pitch but Eirias managed to maintain the lead when
the half time whistle blew.


Subjected once again to some dubious umpiring at both ends it was pleasing to
note that the majority of the verbal challenges to the umpires was from the
Birkenhead players.
An act of hotheadedness by players from both teams resulted in yellow cards for
deliberately kicking the ball away reducing both teams to 10 players.
The tempo picked up and the physicality was left unchecked by the umpires
seeing Willa floored and Will taken out by a ridiculous sliding tackle on the
edge of the Birkenhead D neither of which were punished.


The equaliser came from a dubious PC following great saves from an energetic
Finn in goal who sadly couldn't be everywhere he was needed.
Minutes later a moment of I'll discipline from Neil resulted in another PC
which led to the winning goal for Birkenhead.


The committed running, tackling and passing of both Mike and Will rightly
earned them MoM nominations and once again the efforts of Finn kept the score
down.
Top of the table next week at home is another opportunity for Eirias 2s to
demonstrate the potential that is bubbling under the surface.


DOTD: Neil
MOTM: Mike and Will
Goal scorer: Max

Oxton Men’s 4&nbsp;( 2 v 4 )&nbsp;Clwb Hoci Eirias
Men’s 3

&nbsp;Eirias 3 delivered an excellent performance away at Oxton,
coming out 4–2 winners in a fast-paced and competitive match.

Eirias started strongly, immediately putting Oxton under
pressure with sharp passing and aggressive pressing high up the pitch. The
early dominance paid off when Tom S opened the scoring, finishing confidently
to make it 1–0. The momentum continued as Teddy produced a superb reverse-stick
strike from the top of the D, doubling the lead.

Oxton responded well and pulled a goal back to make it 2–1,
but Eirias stayed composed. Teddy struck again with another impressive reverse
finish, restoring the two-goal cushion at 3–1 heading into half-time. During
the break, Dave delivered a calm, focused team talk to keep the side sharp for
the second half.

&nbsp;Eirias came out strong again and it wasn’t long before Teddy
completed his hat-trick, scoring yet another reverse-stick effort to extend the
lead to 4–1. Oxton battled throughout and managed to score again, narrowing the
gap to 4–2, but Eirias remained disciplined until the final whistle.

Defensively, Otto, Dave, and Jacob were dependable and
controlled the back line superbly. In midfield, Tom S and Tom W worked
tirelessly, dictating play. Ryan ran himself into the ground up front,
constantly pressing and creating space. Senan, Alfie, Gethin, and Mark added
pace and energy on the wings. In goal, Jacob W was outstanding, making key
saves and providing a steady presence throughout.

&nbsp;A strong team performance and a well-earned 4–2 victory.

Bebington Men’s 3&nbsp;( 3 v 0 )&nbsp;Clwb Hoci
Eirias Men’s Development

&nbsp;Saturday served up a real test for the Development Boys as
they travelled to face league leaders Bebington. With a reduced squad of just
12, it looked to be a daunting fixture on paper! Bebington fielded a strong,
experienced side, more “Developed” than “Development”, but that didn’t faze our
lads one bit. They embraced the challenge with grit and determination.

From the first whistle, the Boys impressed with sharp first
touches, crisp passing, and intelligent movement, clear signs of the progress
made in recent training sessions. We kept Bebington honest early on,
restricting them to half chances while our defensive unit of Harrison, Ash, and
Noah, backed by Glenn’s calm authority, stood like a brick wall. Three short
corners were conceded and three defended brilliantly, each one sparking a
counterattack that had Bebington scrambling.

&nbsp;In midfield, Owen, Theo, and Johnny worked tirelessly to
knit play together, spreading the ball wide to Ethan and Jacob, whose runs
caused real headaches for the home side. Up front, Zach’s relentless pressing
dragged defenders out of position and opened space for teammates. Several slick
moves carved open Bebington’s backline... on another day, we’d have been
celebrating goals.

&nbsp;In the end, it took a moment of individual brilliance from
Bebington, (a sharp turn and a rocket into the bottom corner) to break the
deadlock. At halftime, the score read 1-0, but the performance told a very
different story.

The second half mirrored the first: teamwork, pressing, and
resilience. With only one substitute, fatigue inevitably crept in, and
Bebington capitalised with two scrappy late goals. The final whistle blew at
3-0, but the game felt far closer, more like 1-0 in spirit.

Against an unbeaten side at the top of the table, this was a
performance full of pride and promise. The Boys left nothing on the pitch,
proving that results are just around the corner. Harrison and Noah, the
defensive duo who kept Bebington’s attack quiet for most of the game, shared
Player of the Match honours.

Although the final score favoured Bebington, the real
victory was in the Development Boys’ progress. Week by week, they’re becoming a
force to be reckoned with. Bring on Sunday’s tournament, this squad is ready to
make some noise!!

Match Reports 15th November 2025

Just a quick reminder to affiliate with Hockey Wales before the start of September. There are now monthly payment options through Klarna and support through hardship funds.&nbsp;

Hockey Wales Affiliation

Put the dates in your diaries, we’re nearly back for the 2025/26 season!&nbsp;&nbsp;

Please note that these times are only for pre-season and will be updated for September onwards.

New members welcome, whether you’re new to the area and looking for a new club, want to try a new sport or get back into hockey after a long break, everyone is welcome! Please message us for more information! Anyone going into year 8 and above is welcome to attend these sessions.

U12s sessions will restart in September!&nbsp; &nbsp;

Pre-season Training - August 2025

Clwb Hoci Eirias Weekly Match Report -&nbsp;March  2025

Northop Hall Women’s 2 ( 1 v 4 )  Clwb Hoci Eirias Women’s 2

There is a definite “snow and ice” theme to this week’s report.

Half term week for Eirias Hockey means only one thing – most of you go skiing, causing plenty of stress for those of us tasked with trying to get teams together. This week was a classic case of this, with all 3 teams being shorthanded. Because I am a strategic genius, I suggested cancelling the 3s game, allowing gaps in the 1s and 2s to be filled with the players freed up. This contingency plan all depended on the Rydal trip returning from Italy, which was a bit of a toss up as there was a baggage handler strike. Fortunately, they made it to Manchester at midnight on Friday, so the plan swung into action.

2’s regulars Seren, Ella, and Anna were called up to the 1s this weekend to allow them to play with 12 players. Joining the 2s this week would be 3s captain Emily and Chelle, giving us the luxury of a rotating sub. Northop did not seem to appreciate the stunning feat of logistics that we had pulled off and threw an early spanner in the works by telling Charlotte that they had a frozen pitch. This seemed unlikely, as even in darkest Gwynedd it was sunny and bright before I had even set off. By 10am though Northop acknowledged that the sun does indeed exist and that the game could go ahead without issue, possibly as Charlotte offered the diplomatic compromise of them travelling to play in the subtropical conditions at our pitch instead.

The motley batch of 12 arrived at Northop, all donned in under armour, hats, gloves and excess layers, expecting a cold weather scenario after the promise of a frosty pitch. 30 seconds into a warmup it became obvious that was unnecessary, as the temperature was threatening to break into the double figures. A mass removal of said cold weather gear took place, and we were ready to go (including the accidental disturbance of a birthday party – oops!), but not before Northop won the toss and elected to change ends, forcing us to play into the sun during the first half, much to the understandable disgust of Nel.

Eirias lined up with Nel in goal, Carly, Becca, Rachel F, and Martha across the back, Benny, Chelle, Rachel C and Hannah in midfield, with Eve and Charlotte up front. Emily started on the bench, ready to start the rotation of rest breaks after 10 mins. From pushback it was clear that we were the better team – when we had the ball, we were able to move it up the pitch well, but things were scrappy – Northop clogged the middle of the pitch and were playing very narrow. That said, when we did get good possession and put some width on the ball, good things happened. Benny and Emily were able to carry the ball with pace, evading Northop defenders and creating a constant threat to their D. Despite this threat out wide, chances were few and far between in the first half for both sides. The game was being played mostly in Northop’s half, and they looked to hit back on the break. Midway through the first half, that is exactly how they opened the scoring. A speculative driven pass ricocheted at a funny angle off a Northop stick, sending the ball past our defence allowing Northop a clean through chance. Despite Nel closing the shooter down she was able to slip the ball past her to send Northop one up against the run of play. The same scrappy pattern continued for the remainder of the first half, with Eirias players playing slightly out of position not helping matters much, and frustration started to build.

Half time, and Charlotte spelt out a simple message. Calm down, don’t rush, and use the width. Fuelled by Squashies provided by Emily, we lined back up for the second half, with a far more positive outlook. It didn’t take long for things to start going our way. Rachel F started to play further up the field because of how we were dominating possession and territory, and Northop were pinned back in their own half again. Benny and Emily were both untouchable on the wings, with Emily being a menace, waltzing past Northop defenders time and time again. Minutes into the 2nd half we had our first reward. A driven ball from Rachel C hit multiple legs on its way to the D. While Northop stopped expecting a free hit (or sympathy from the pain), the umpire waved advantage, and the ball fell to Eve, open and unmarked for her to drive home. This seemed to energise the Eirias girls even further, leading to our second goal. Carly slipped the ball to Emily at the halfway line, who skinned her marker alive and bolted down the right wing, beating 3 Northop players as she got into the D and towards the goal line. Turing and pulling the ball into a Northop foot earned us a penalty corner. No messing around with this chance – Rachel F stepped up to drive home straight from the injection. 2-1 and things were going our way. The frustration vanished, and people were playing with big smiles on their faces. Northop kept playing narrow, but our midfield contained them with ease and kept feeding the ball to our two wingers who were both putting on a show. Repeated high threat passes into the D led to a Northop goalkeeping error, with a weak kick falling to Charlotte to put away for our 3rd goal. For the last 10 mins, both teams seemed to visibly tire in the sweltering 11oC heat. Eirias had a lucky let off when an umpire noticed that a Northop attacker had used the back of her stick to put the ball into the goal while the Eirias girls waited for a free hit, but other than they, there was minimal threat – save for one penalty corner broken up by Bennys lack of self-preservation in charging the shooter. In the dying moments of the game Hannah made sure of the result with a cheeky dribble of her own into the D and a neat finish past the onrushing Northop goalie. This made it 4-1, a scoreline that reflected the Eirias level of control over the second half.

Northop’s pitch wasn’t the only thing not frozen today, mind you. I got home to find my freezer had decided to stop working. Ah well, the loss of a few fish fingers was totally worth it to see you all play so well.

Goal scorers: Eve, Charlotte, Rach F and Hannah

Clwb Hoci Eirias Men’s 1 ( 4 v 2 ) Kendal Men’s 1

The boys turned up promptly for their 1:30 push-back, eager to batter (Eirias had become something of a psychotic chippy at this point). What was the catch of the day? Kendal.

You’d have been forgiven for thinking The Jungle™️ had moved to Doha on what was a scorching day. Matt Mahon’s forehead was being used to fry eggs, partly to do with heat, but mostly because of the rage he carries at all times.

The game started quickly with Noakes receiving an aerial from our mortar crew (Lewis) down on our left wing. He trapped the ball and pinged it off their centre backs chest (who was within five yards). Taking the free-hit a good 6 metres from where it should have been and leaving the defenders cries to the umpire in the background, he shuffled into the D and, with a little bit of magic and a little bit of talent, shovelled the ball into the net. 1-0.

Later into the half and the boys had well and truly greased the frier, comfortably passing the ball and besieging the opposition goal. Ash Wills danced his way into the D before sliding the ball across the face of the goal, and who appeared from behind the back-post? Houdini himself, Noakes, caressing the ball in the bottom corner. 2-0.

We battered them and we all felt like this might be a Gwent situation.

G. Klopp: Don’t get complacent. Don’t get complacent. Don’t get complacent.

In the second half Henry decided to finish off his mid-afternoon siesta during a short-corner, watching the ball slowly trickle into the far-corner when a big-boot was probably a better option. Then they scored another. It all happened so fast and the complacency was incredible. Scandalous even.

Cian lost his head. Lewis was away at the shops. Henry was sleeping. Tower 1 had fallen.

All of that was forgotten though, as Ethan scored his own from a short-corner to re-establish the lead. Slipped to him on the left, a bit of pickaxing and slamming the ball goalwards worked wonders. We were battering them again.

Shortly after, Noakes was able to complete his hat-trick with a ball smashed across the face of the goal, applying the deft and final touch to wrong-foot the keeper from behind his back (something a regular occurrence these days). In that excitement, he went on to perform a brilliantly timed-tackle, carefully carving up the opposing players leg and midriff with his body, stick and head. The umpire was so impressed he had to send him off as it was becoming unsporting to leave him on the pitch and the opposition were threatening legal action.

Then Bryndigo was sent off for a similarly timed tackle, caught up in the excitement of day, momentum brought him to another yellow. Down to 9 with 10 minutes to go. Could the boys hang on?

Cards: Cal (Yellow x1), Bryn (Green x1, Yellow x1), Lewis (Green x1)

Clwb Hoci Eirias Men’s 1 ( 3 v 1 ) Winnington Park Men’s 1

St. David’s Day was here and so were Winnington Park, hoping to slay the golden dragon in its own coniferous back-yard. The stage was set, the sun was bright and the air was chilled, much like the Guinness across town. Can the boys in Maroon continue their campaign in style?

A bumper-crowd attended the first match of the day at Eirias Park, with close to 39 people in attendance, those without a ticket were climbing the fence. The atmosphere was like a bear-pit; you couldn’t breathe in the stands and I think it affected the Winnington Park players.

The game started quickly with their long-haired CB throwing a high aerial bombardment down to our back line. Our very own mortar crew (Lewis) returned fire, but more accurate and better generally. This was a theme for the game. We peppered the ball around the top of their D with a couple of half-chances. Josh missed a sitter but the pick of the bunch (i.e the only one I can remember properly whilst writing this) was a missile telegraphed to the backpost by Ash Wills on the half-volley. Unfortunately, nobody was Bonnie Blue in the D; ‘finishing on the net’ eluded us in the first half. Henry made some saves I think? He barely concedes but I think his mere presence just throws attackers off.

There was an atmosphere of scepticism at half-time. We’d battered them (as usual) and felt dominant playing but we needed to score and set a tone, otherwise the enemy might take confidence and begin thinking they were good (they weren’t). Jelly babies consumed, texts to Annie sent and some important words said; the boys re-entered the fray.

The first goal came from Josh Chan who basically nine-ironed it out of the defenders calf and shin into the goal. Everyone breathed a sigh of relief. “It is going to be easy”, I heard someone say.

M. Yesekaon was convinced there was a friendly player behind him at all times, but after dummying the ball through his legs 3x, the schizophrenia was well-and-truly back, as there was nobody nearby. Gary Klopp cursed from the sideline but we take mental health seriously here so I won’t repeat what he said.

M. Yesekaon did swing a beautiful ball across to Bryn Mbuemo on the backpost moments later for a tap-in.

Bryn fluffed his lines like a confused Pablo Escobar.

He ran away with his head low, found his dad and said, “sorry dad,” and kissed him softly as an apology.

At the other end of the field Losington Park scored.

The boys had to turn up the intensity in order to battle back from this. But, like we have done all season, we found a way through. Skevlar scored the second after a brief scramble from a short corner, slotting coolly past the keeper.

Ash rearranged the ground directly next to the ball a couple of times. In fairness, this was with very-light oppositional pressure. He then dropped his stick under the weight of everything being caught in 4K.

Moments later, Josh Chan received the ball from Ci-Diddy on the left, and made his way with purpose to the by-line, dribbling like Ethan around scars (or Chadwick around red-hair), breaking ankles like a juiced-up podiatrist. Cian, who continued his run into D, was in the right place at the right time to alley-oop the ball into the back of the net. Everyone groaned on the sideline as Cian’s head was that rotund already it was dragging on the ground.

By this point, Winnington park were blaming everyone but themselves. Abusing the umpires on the pitch, and being vulgar generally. The umpires were left with no choice but to bring the Christmas spirit to the game, producing cards in abundance. It started with a green for the indiscretion…

(“Just shut up, lads,” I heard their embarrassed left-back say)

“It gets hot in the kitchen so if you can’t stand the heat, wind your neck in…...”

“Why have you taken your stick with you? You don’t need that anymore, Super-sub.”

The game petered out at this point as the red-card reverberated around North West Division 2 Headquarters, the big ‘Chester HC’ flags were gently shaking. The boys kept possession for the remaining minutes, making it another comfortable win.

Their number 29 was left distraught in the car-park, caught by fans on film after receiving his red-card. But, if you play silly games, you win silly prizes bruddah, so you can only look to the mirror. On the bright side, he’s able to take a 3-week holiday and go to some anger-management sessions now.

Overall, well won, well fought performance after a brief scare (but we live for the drama baby). Everyone had their good moments and that’s partially why we’re having the season we’re having (honourable mentions: Oli Pitman - stalwart at the back, Sam Rennie - so good there’s a chant for him, Max Smith - masterful RB, Tom Chadwick - coach extraordinaire and motivator, Terry Boyle - Captain Elephant, Ethan Chan - covers fat cat like ngolo kante, Dylan Madden - reverse stick wizard).

Onto the next, double weekend, double the battering.

Clwb Hoci Eirias Women’s 3 ( 5 v 0 )  Northop Hall Dev

The women’s 3’s were treated to a lie in this weekend thanks to the luxury of a 3.15 pushback (something I am so unused to I kept on greeting everyone with “morning” despite it clearly being 2.30pm) against long time development rivals Northop Hall in a game that would determine bragging rights for this year. We have definitely been on a great run of form recently, but disruption to our fixtures meant there was the risk of some rustiness creeping in – could we maintain the high standards? Well, spoiler alert – the short answer is yes, and how!

Playing for the 3’s today was resident plane spotter Caitlin in goal, Martha, Vicky, Sophie and Grace across the back, captain Emily, Eryn, and debutant Alice in midfield, with Chelle, Cath, and Lexi starting in attack. Violet took the first break, ready to come on in defence sending Grace up front, with Benny and Ella joining us from the 2’s to give us some real strength in depth.

In the first success of the day, Emily won the toss and elected to change ends. This tactical masterstroke was devised between Chelle, Caitlin, and myself, who reasoned that the sun would be lower later, and less of a pain when Caitlin was trying to count the seagulls. This meant Northop had to cope with the sun in the first half. This seemed to immediately pay off. Simply put, there was only really one team in it from the outset. The ball was firmly pinned into Northop’s half thanks to the tenacity of our midfield trio, and the opposition fell deeper and deeper, clogging the passing lanes with sticks, feet, and legs, and some rough play to disrupt the ball carrying of Emily, Eryn, and Alice. Despite this, the Eirias girls were generating chances from the near total possession they had. Our breakthrough came after 8 minutes. Lexi slid the ball through a gap in the Northop defence to a wide-open Chelle, who released a cannon of a shot. No stopping that, and it was one nil. Moments later Chelle got her second of the game after being played in by Eryn, and it was all smiles as we found ourselves 2 nil up and comfortable. The game turned scrappy for the next 10 mins, but we remained fully on top and in control of things. It took another 10 mins for us to get our 3rd goal, and I claim some credit here. Cath was up next for a breather, and as I yelled for her to switch out, her marker stopped following her (I quote, “that’s not fair – she is supposed to be going off!”). Cath, ever alert, used this distraction to carry the ball strongly into the D before feeding Chelle a perfect cross which she buried to make it 3 nil, and a first half hat trick. The pace then dropped slightly as people tired in the sun, but we nearly added a fourth goal from a big penalty corner shot by Lexi – this smashed off the post beyond the diving Northop goalie, and everyone stopped as they thought it hit the fence. Everyone other than Grace that is, who collected the ball but was unable to force it past the goalie at the near post. Half time, and plenty of sugary sweets to refuel on. Caitlin, as of yet not called into action, reported that there was a squirrel, and two seagulls.

The second half began, and as predicted we were playing into the sun, but it was a lot less intense as in the first half. This made it harder for Caitlin to spot planes, but she reported excitedly that there were at least two. At the other end of the pitch, we continued to dominate, but as before were having difficulty getting past the 8 or 9 players that were filling Northops defensive end. 5 mins in and Cath earned us a penalty corner by playing a strong pass of a leg. This was too good a chance to waste, with the girls executing their favourite slip left routine to allow Eryn to lift the ball home, giving us a 4 nil lead. There followed a 10 to 15 minute period of repeated free hits for stick tackles, feet, and back sticks, where we couldn’t generate too many chances thanks to the spoiling play. The ball even went near Caitlin, when a speculative Northop driven pass went from their half into the D, but she calmly watched it pass by her, thanks to being yelled at to “pay attention”! That was, until Alice used a bit of brute force to get enough space in the D to drive a shot past the keeper at the near post, giving us an unassailable 5 nil lead. The remainder of the game petered out as everyone became a little tired in the relative heat, but the hard work was already done.

Goal scorers: Chelle x3, Eryn, Alice

Turkey: Tie between Chelle for missing at least 3, Eryn passing to nobody, and Emily for being beaten with many sticks.

Man on / Player on - This is a warning that you (or our player in possession of the ball) has an opposition player in close proximity who is about to attempt a tackle.

Match Reports - March 2025

Clwb Hoci Eirias Hockey Club

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